My morning started out with my boss, a minister, catching me taking a selfie in front of the church, rather than being in the office doing secretary things.  How rad?  Not.  My theory on selfies is that I want as many pictures of myself looking young and cute, because Lord knows that won’t last forever.  I spent the rest of my morning skimming through photos of Jared Leto (as I sometimes do) wondering if I put a filter on one and made it my phone wallpaper that people might think he was my boyfriend and not a musician/star of many major motion pictures.  I opted out, but rest assured that I’m not above that sort of thing.

One of the things that I love about photos is not what they do capture, but instead what they don’t capture.  I’m talking about the photo where your smile is as big as ever even though you just ended a fight with your boyfriend.  I’m talking about the photo where no one even knew that you were pregnant yet.  I’m talking about the photo where you are gritting your teeth because you hate the person standing next to your best friend so much.  This is what I love about photos.  You get to capture only the emotions, people, and moments that you desire…not the ones you don’t.  It’s like putting a rose-colored filter on every single memory you have, so that the past is not filled with regrets, but filled with hope and joy instead.

Sometimes people, especially guys, laugh or get all awkward when you want to take a picture with them.  Don’t you understand?  I want a picture of us so I can post it on facebook because I am honored to be associated with you.  I think a lot of you and I want other people to know that too.  Seems silly, but think about what’s not captured in the photo.  I was at the pub begging you to take a photo with me even though I was a little embarrassed.  But really, why should I be embarrassed?  I’m practically telling you that you are a fucking celebrity in my life.  Even though I naturally approach my life as if I’m the main character, every protagonist needs some co-stars.  Why do you think they give awards for supporting roles?  You are the star of your own life and I, personally, would love to be a supporting role if given the opportunity.

When discussing the topic of photos in an online journal, this song easily fit the bill.  Photojournalist by Small Black is an epically hipster song and you will love it…because I said so.  The repetitive lyrics are also not a complete waste of time if you give them a little look-see.

Before I forget, drumroll please………….My skeeze of the day goes to this stupid guy at the pool tables last night that never came and found me to play doubles.  I can only assume his decision was made out of fear of my pool playing mediocrity.  Tis a common fear I am sure.  Or possibly, he was just so intimidated by my beauty.  Or possibly, they just really did not want me to play doubles with them.  Fuck.


2 thoughts on “Photojournalist

  1. This reminds me of the Drive soundtrack. I actually act this way at times with my wife, when she is trying to take a photo of us together. I do it playfully, because she always calls me her son. Lol.


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