Dramamine

Travel

Warning: This post…along with all my other posts now that I think about it…is not appropriate for all audiences.  If you are offended by racial, religious, or sexual jokes (the only kind of jokes); then this blog is not for you.

Cunt, slut, whore, bitch.  Only the first four words that come to mind when you think of her…and by her, I mean the family favorite.  Sometimes she’s your niece, sister, cousin, aunt, or in-law, but most importantly, she is never EVER you.  You get a master’s degree and she gets a doctorate.  You wear a c-cup and she’s rockin DD’s.  You win ten awards and she gets best overall.  She’s one-three times upping you in everything you do.  Shadow meet life. She’s often blonde and has a tendency to seek out weaknesses.  Out this July and coming to a theater near you…she is…the family favorite.

Although both facing the inner battle with our archnemesis, the family favorite, Samantha (the introducer of the word skeeze) and I still managed to have a great weekend.  This includes the following:

Kansas City Royals baseball game– I had no idea that all the players would be foreign, and by foreign I mean hispanic.  They trick you with first names like Josh, James, and Tyler…so you’re like yeah, these are my people.  Then BAM, Perez has two outs, Gonzales is chillin on third base, and who knows what the fuck ole Salvador’s up to.  Regardless it was fun…Olé, touché motherfuckers!  I also have recently wondered if they play the song Royals by Lorde at their games…seems appropriate.

Nelson Atkins museum– FYI, Jesus Christ not only died once for your sins, but instead gets nailed to the cross in every single fucking room of this museum.  I fail to understand the artistic fascination with a long-haired man nailed in t-formation, unless said long-haired man is rockin a 6-pack and killer biceps.

Modest Mouse concert– This is the kind of place where each tall man is assigned to one short girl, being forced (by means of waterboarding) to stand directly in front of them the entire concert.  Always a pleasure fellow concert viewers.

 

One of things I realized on my trip, was my friends’ unnatural and mildly disturbing infatuation with the concept of rape.  Everything we talked about somehow led us back to one topic….rape.  We eventually created a rape spectrum, where we could judge things based on where they fell on the spectrum.  Like…oh he touched you there…that’s definitely gonna fall somewhere in the middle of the rape spectrum.  For future posts, I plan to utilize this spectrum.  It did, however, lead us to coining a particular phrase, one which I think you will like.

“It ain’t easy being skeezy.” – said by my roommate Connor (my previous skeeze of the day)

This brings me to my favorite part of the post…My skeeze of the day goes to the guy sitting behind me at the Royals game.  He went on and on about how ugly high-waisted shorts were.  I’m wearing high-waisted shorts you stupid motherfucker!  Take two steps back…then take two steps forward…pat your head…now admit you’re wrong motherfucker!!!! For the record, my high-waisted shorts looked stellar.  I will be posting a clip later today from my favorite Modest Mouse song played at the concert, “Dramamine”.

 

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14 thoughts on “Dramamine

  1. I’m glad I am not offended by all these sexual, racial and religious jokes because your blog is very enjoyable to read! 🙂
    By the way, high waisted shorts are only unattractive when girls show their buttcheeks while wearing high waisted shorts haha 🙂

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    1. Glad you aren’t offended and enjoy it! I was worried this post might be a little boring but tomorrow I’m going to dive into the topic of hipsters which should be fun! I feel mostly confident my butt cheeks were fully covered in those shorts 😉

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    1. Haha I always try to remember that height is biological. If a tall person came w someone short, I can’t expect them to leave their date either. I mostly just wish I were taller. Problem solved. Rape spectrum in a nutshell: all things eventually lead to rape, tits are a gateway drug…to rape lol. We are terrible people clearly haha

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        1. Ya I’m not huge into sports, but I love watching basketball. We mostly went to the royals game for my friend, but it was fun enough haha. I’m jealous u live in KC, I just love it there!

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  2. When it comes to clothing, it all depends on the wearer. I have seen bespoke suits look horrible on guys, whereas an off the rack suit, slightly tailored, looks amazing on another. It all comes down to the wearer…well, except yoga pants/leggings/tights–they are not for everyone. I will admit, I am a yoga pantist, leggingsist and a tightsist. I don’t hate anyone…just your choice to wear what does not fit. Lol.

    And what is with this concept of wearing leggings/tights without any form of covering, knowing those bad boys are see-through? My wife and I can see your kitty, so I am sure you noticed this before leaving the house.

    By the way, I rather like the production of this song.

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    1. I am a leggings/yoga pants wearer myself (while currently wearing leggings). I just get tired of blanket statements about hating fashion. I agree some people wear unflattering items but in the end it’s their choice. I’m sure my skeeze didn’t mean to offend me but nonetheless. I’m glad you enjoyed this song! It’s fantastic live wow!

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      1. I love yoga, leggings and tights. One of my favorite items to buy for my wife, so that she could wear around the house happens to be yoga pants and leggings. The addiction is so real, I buy about six whenever I’m out. Since I know her size and clothing taste, accessories, etc…I know what works and what she’ll return. Lol.

        A person is free to wear whatever they want of course. Style is a state of mind, but even then, some rules must be followed. It’s always a pleasure connecting.

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