I’m Fucking Hungry…All The Time!

Dating, Lifestyle, People

I’m a quitter.  I quit my job bartending.  After being assigned three articles for the first issue of the school newspaper, MY VERY OWN weekly blog on the school newspaper website, and realizing my parents were actually more than supportive of my journalism career; I knew that I did not have time to mix in mixed drinks.  I knew catman (my roommate Connor) and the fire whisperer (my fluffly ex-boyfriend) would be disappointed in me for giving up so easily, but the truth is, I’d much rather be in front of the bar than behind it!  Turns out, it is illegal to drink from behind the bar…guess I should’ve seen that one comin.  Not to mention, I’m having the most intense pool withdrawals EVER…I can’t sleep at night because I’m thinking of shooting combos and scratching on the eight ball.  Sometimes I wake up in sweat asking myself if the game’s over.  I need a cue in my hands stat because I just can’t handle another night without pool.  I didn’t realize why I was stressing so much, then I realized playing pool had become my ultimate stress reliever.  Ex-boyfriend brings over his new girlfriend?  Go play pool.  Church is losing money and may not have enough to pay me?  Go play pool.  People are asking you for mixed drinks you’ve never heard of?  Can’t go play pool because I’m on the fucking clock!  I even bought a pair of patterned leggings with pool balls all over them.

Alright, let’s get down to the bottom line.  I’m bored.  I’ve been bored.  Of course you already know that since my last few blog posts have talked about riding shotgun in the car, opening wrongly addressed mail, and unenthusiastic skeezes.  Part of me resorted to throwback Thursdays because nothing new has been happening!  Even my straight hair has been lackluster.  It’s time to break out a curling iron because I’m ready for a change!  Although I’m excited about my new school blog, I’m still gonna need an outlet for all my fuck this’s and fuck that’s.  So fuck all of you, because I come from a long line of swearers and I gotta let out those urges to cuss.  Don’t worry, I don’t intend to continue the line of swearers by impregnating my perfect, cellulite-free body.  Okay, not perfect…but honestly, I’m not insecure.  Why do you think the bar manager hired me in the first place?  Surely not because I’m such a good bartender…I didn’t even know Captain Morgan was spiced rum…Don’t laugh, I only drink beer or whiskey.

So, what are my big plans to get out of this rut?  Well, I didn’t exactly think that part through, but here are some thoughts:

1. Go play pool.  I want it, I need it, I’m losing sleep over it.  That’s in the cards for tonight.

2. Schedule a friend get-together.  I want every friend of mine getting white girl wasted with me in my apartment…or black girl wasted, asian man trashed, or even mexican man gone.  I don’t care!  If that means someone ends up sleeping in my bed drunkenly instead of catman’s favorite fold out couch, then so be it!

3. Go on a date…or two…or three.  No, I don’t want to get to know you in your hotel room, come over for drinks/smoking after the bars, or be given a tour of your bachelor pad.  In fact, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I don’t even want to go shoot pool with you.  Maybe after dinner…or a movie…or coffee..I don’t know what you dating people like to do, but those things seem more right.  It may not look like I eat much, but I’m fucking hungry…all the time!  Take me out to eat motherfucker.

4. Watch netflix.  Swarmed with meetings, work, and writing, I haven’t even had a chance to type past the n-e-t-f  URL in days.  I wanna watch tv…fuck!

5. Curl my freaking hair.  Straight hair just doesn’t suit my wild personality.  It’s time for bouncy curls that I can toss over my shoulder as I aim for the corner pocket.

Don’t hate me, but I don’t really have a skeeze for the day.  My schedule has been jam-packed with words like mandatory, responsibility, and beginning of the semester.  Don’t worry, I have plenty of skeezy posts coming your way as soon as I fill in my notice of two weeks at the bar!  Leave a comment…or don’t…I don’t fucking care!

 

 

 

 

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10 thoughts on “I’m Fucking Hungry…All The Time!

  1. Hi! I’m not sure what your policy on awards is, but I think you deserve the recognition so I’ve nominated you for a Beautiful Blogger Award!
    There is no pressure to accept, participate, or follow the rules exactly.
    If you’re interested, you can check it out here: http://wp.me/p374p6-1uY

    Like

    1. Thank you so much! I do accept! I read what you wrote about my blog and thought it was so awesome! Lately I’d been feeling a little bored by the writing on my blog and your message was really encouraging for me!

      Liked by 1 person

        1. Yes I cannot stay away for too long! I’m relieved I had time to get on here this morning. As you can maybe tell by my blog post..I’ve been crazy busy! I plan on answering the questions for the virtual tour and making some nominations either tonight or tomorrow!

          Liked by 1 person

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