Any waves of dissent? I didn’t think so.

Humor, Lifestyle, People, Relationships, Travel

When I first arrived at the beach, my parents with their trendy thick-rimmed Ray Ban glasses, could not pry me out of the water.  The first day I was out swimming, I started at least 20-30 blog posts:

As the water tossed me back in forth, in one direction and than in the other…

Almost all of them are broken (referring to sea shells)…

At times the waves could be so peaceful, but then would suddenly…


I literally had to stop myself.  SAVANNAH STOP MAKING OCEAN METAPHORS!  The ocean is not a metaphor for your life.  In fact, the ocean probably thinks you are a fucking metaphor for its life.  I am also apparently paranoid as fuck and found myself on shark watch more often than not.  Get it together!  I did, however, learn many things while on the shores of this white sandy beach.

1) Boogie boarding is made for 1-piece swimsuits.  Not 1 1/2.  Not 1 3/4.  1 piece.

2) Sand is a curse not a blessing.  Sure it feels nice on your feet for awhile, then you go inside, and it follows you…EVERYWHERE.  You take a shower and you are sure you have rid yourself of these awful white grains of sand…then there they are….IN YOUR FUCKING KNEE!  Just chillin…again, in your fucking knee.

3) There are a fucking ocean’s worth of ocean metaphors.  I mean seriously.  Writers like myself, who like to make blog-post long comparisons between life and some object, just stay the fuck away from the ocean.  Just stay away!  Don’t even get me started on water in general…

4) There are other things in the water besides you.  Although the clear waters may trick you into thinking that this is a big swimming pool, swimming pools do not have crabs, lobsters, fish, dolphins, and weird black rocks that seem shady as fuck.  It’s like a fucking giant nature reservation, so watch your step…literally.

5) Never go to the ocean with your mom.  I swear it’s like she has watched every news story about the ocean since she could breathe.  Savannah, one time this surfer got her arm bit off by a shark.  Savannah, there is a bacterial infection killing a bunch of people along the coastline who get into the water with open cuts (as my leg is dripping blood from cutting it open shaving).  Savannah, lightning is known to strike people more frequently when they are in the water.  Bitch, if you say Savannah one more time!

I had to admit, although stressful at times, the ocean is teeming with writing inspiration.  Get it?  Teeming with…?  I had completed a book on the beach and even felt some crazy intense desire to write the author a letter.  Yes, I have become one of those lame people who write the authors of their favorite books letters.  What’s next, fan fiction?!  Christ, sometimes I hate myself.

Being away from work for several days and surrounded by the support of my mom and stepdad, I have had a lot of time to think and relax.  Honestly, I have no fucking idea what day of the week it is.  How great is that?  No one tell me.  While I had left my college town, worried I would miss my roommate and best friends, shooting pool and watching netflix, I realized that I was going to leave here actually missing my parents, the beach, and waves of writing inspiration (waves?!).  Truth be told, I don’t want to come back.  I want to stay here and damn it I think the ocean wants me to stay here too.  Any waves of dissent?  I didn’t think so.

While I do have much more to say, I am headed back to the beach for a few more days of sunburning, sand gathering and bacterial infection-filled waters.  Don’t worry, I am also working on my comeback that I mentioned in the last post!  Underdog story coming your way in the near future!  Leave a comment ya landlocked bitches!



7 thoughts on “Any waves of dissent? I didn’t think so.

  1. XD Savannah, you have a legendary sense of humour! You describe things so well, an oh, now oceans will only make me think of this blog post! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    1. YES beach legos! So true! I love the way it feels when I’m out there…but no shower head is strong enough to face the evils of these beach legos! It’s like dog hair. I imagine finding this white sand in random places years from now haha!


  2. I know the beach is supposed to be all relaxing but I hate it. I always have. I just think it’s more trouble than it’s worth. The fact that all the beaches that are near me are disgusting doesn’t help the situation.


  3. I really like your blog.. very nice colors & theme.
    Did you make this website yourself or did you hire someone to do it for you?
    Plz respond as I’m looking to design my own blog and would like
    to know where u got this from. thanks a lot


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