I Am Not A Book Blogger.

Books, Humor, Lifestyle, People

I am not a book blogger.  Do not even think about throwing me into that category because I will just throw myself off a cliff.  Not that there is anything wrong with book bloggers, but at the same time, what exactly is not wrong about book bloggers?

“Hey Savannah what have you been reading lately?”

…asked NO ONE EVER.

Why the fuck do you fuckers never ask me questions like that?  Probably because I tell you everything without even being asked…Maybe I need to be more mysterious.

What books do you fuckers think I am reading?  How’s that for mysterious?

Fuck it.

1. Quiet by Susan Cain

This is not a self-help book…in the same way that I am not a book blogger…because I’m totally not blogging about books right now.  This book is about introverts and almost equally about extroverts.  If you had to guess, which one would you say I am?  I’ll give you a hint, it starts with an “extro” and ends in a “vert” .

I love this book because it doesn’t just throw broad advice at you like…

“Do unto others as you wish to be done to you.”

I’m always like…Okay?  But what do I say to that bitch who stole my sunglasses?

This book has lots of research and specific examples so you can make your own comparisons.

2. My Heart Is An Idiot essays by Davy Rothbart

If you like my blog, I am like 98.823% certain that you will like this book.  It is a collection of stories from his life that will make you laugh and realize that there are people out there just as crazy as you.  It is easy to read because it is divided into essays and just so fucking awesome in every way…not all that different from my blog if I do say so myself.

3. If You Have to Cry Go Outside by Kelly Cutrone

This book teaches you how to be a tough bitch like Kelly Cutrone.  I have already told you all what a crier I am, but after reading this book you will at least never see me doing it!  My friends are all applauding right now because they know this bitch always be cryin.

4. The Opposite of Loneliness essays and stories by Marina Keegan

This book is what made me decide to pursue journalism and writing as a potential career.  Marina Keegan was a Yale graduate who died in a car accident before truly starting her epic writing career.  Despite being told writing was dead, she followed her dream and pursued it anyway.  If you read this book you can see why this was so important.  Her writing is so passionate and will resonate with me forever.  Not pursuing my passion for writing would feel like doing a great injustice to her memory.

Thank God that’s over.  I just had to get that out of my system.  When I find something I like I have to tell everyone otherwise I might die.  Really.  I was starting to feel faint.

Now that that is out of the way, I want to tell you about a little game I like to play called…Ipod Eight Ball.

When I am in the car, I play this game where I let song titles dictate my fate.  It is my version of an eight ball (I am not talking about pool for once), but in radio form.

I ask a question and then accept the next song title as my future’s answer.

Example:

Savannah– How does “insert boy’s name” feel about me?

Song Title– The Universe

Savannah– Okay?  But again, like how does he feel about me?

I usually cheat destiny and give myself one skip per question or two when I’m feeling extra superstitious.  This can turn out really awful, like when I ask how I am going to do on my next test and the next song title is Bad Bad Bad.  I fucking panic and change it immediately.

There are still some kinks that need to be worked out.

So, if you are looking for a book to read or game to play, then never come back this blog because I am NEVER writing about books again.

I am not a book blogger.

Okay?!

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