But at least it’s coffee scented?

Humor, People

I know I have not posted in a while, but that is because I have been burning my coffee scented candle at five ends. And now wax is starting to get in my hair.

My very unkempt hair.

The past few weeks I have been on an emotional roller coaster.

Unfortunately this roller coaster does not pause at the high points, where you can enjoy the view, but instead slows down to a near halt at the low points, where I just keep wondering when the ride is going to freaking end.

But as I’ve mentioned before, I am not even tall enough to ride the freaking roller coaster (See Post: Why Can’t I Be Tall?). Instead, I am sitting below on an uncomfortable bench, shoveling ice cream into my petite body and waiting for my friends to come hang out with me again.

Everyone keeps sending me that predictable “How are you?” text and I just keep replying:

Eh.

Ugh.

Umm.

Eek.

Anything that is just 23% shy of actually being a word.

This makes it worse because I just provoked them to send me the other predictable “What’s wrong?” text.

Which might be fine. Except for it’s not.

I don’t know what’s wrong.

So I throw a not-so-curved curve ball and reply, “Nothing is wrong.”

That’s right.

Nothing is wrong.

Nothing keeps me up at night. Nothing makes me eat two bags of popcorn. Nothing makes me regret throwing away Taylor Swift’s last album. Nothing makes me tear up when I’m drunk. Nothing IS wrong!

FYI: This weekend I’m throwing a pity party. Everyone’s invited! BYOB! And maybe bring some 2nd B in that acronym for me too because, in case you haven’t noticed, NOTHING IS WRONG!

Ugh.

Nothing has gotten so wrong that I might start using hash tags in my blog posts again (See Post: A Crowbar Huh?).

Eek.

It’s been so long that I have a million things to tell you and not sure where to start.

I used to lay it down in chronological order, but my aforementioned, never- fucking- ending candle, has me all confused about where things begin, where things end and what the fuck is even happening.

Umm.

But at least it’s coffee scented?

I’m going to go wash this wax out of my hair and then come back at you with a post about my spring break trip!

Eh?

Sneak Peek: It involves drunk dialing, guitar playing and hunger striking, which for those of you who don’t know, has virtually nothing to do with eating.

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