Spring Break Part One: Scene Setting…Just So We’re Clear

Humor, People, Relationships

On Spring Break I took my top off (but only so I could shower), made many drunken phone calls (but not to an ex-boyfriend) and went shopping (but not for anything in particular). BUT. Spring break was fun!

For spring break, N and C took me to Austin, Texas for one of the best trips of my life.

While I was fairly excited about going, I had my reservations.

A) Austin sounds like the name of a five year old child whose parents have some sort of fibrosis. And the traffic. I hear there’s traffic.

B) We were staying with N’s not-so-evil twin brother and his wife. I have met them before, but there’s always a lot of pressure meeting friends and family of friends. They have known each other for years and here I am. I mean…there are people out there who have known me for years, but I don’t like have references or anything.

C) The entire car ride there, N and C played this stupid name game with actors’ names, which might have been great if I had not spent my entire life going to the movie theater for the sole purpose of eating popcorn.

D) All of the above.

D. The first letter of the word disaster and the last letter of the word fucked. Just so we’re clear, when I answered “D” I meant A-C. Just so we’re clear.

We arrived in Austin late at night and suddenly, I got nervous. Seeing AL (couple nickname for N’s twin brother and wife) made me nervous.

When I’m around new people I always feel like they’re judging me.

And they are.

They’re always like…

What’s with that freckle on her arm?

Why does she say statements like questions?

…Okay. (See! Her pitch gets higher at the end!)

I don’t know about this girl, but what I do know is…

Then they follow it up with something that they know. Or something that they think. Like, I think it’s supposed to rain tomorrow.

Okay? (see she’s doing it again…)

Plus all these people (N, C, AL and all the other fucking letters in the alphabet) are older than me, more intelligent than me, and brush their teeth more thoroughly than me ya know?

Anyhow, my emotional reservations were cancelled when we stayed up until five a.m. watching N, C and A pick up one of ten million guitars hanging on the wall, and when L gave me the biggest guest bedroom in the house.Okay! And that’s not a question just so we’re clear.

Now that I’ve set the scene, I realize this could be like a three-blog-post kind of affair. That’s right. Three posts. Just so we’re clear.

But at least it’s coffee scented?

Humor, People

I know I have not posted in a while, but that is because I have been burning my coffee scented candle at five ends. And now wax is starting to get in my hair.

My very unkempt hair.

The past few weeks I have been on an emotional roller coaster.

Unfortunately this roller coaster does not pause at the high points, where you can enjoy the view, but instead slows down to a near halt at the low points, where I just keep wondering when the ride is going to freaking end.

But as I’ve mentioned before, I am not even tall enough to ride the freaking roller coaster (See Post: Why Can’t I Be Tall?). Instead, I am sitting below on an uncomfortable bench, shoveling ice cream into my petite body and waiting for my friends to come hang out with me again.

Everyone keeps sending me that predictable “How are you?” text and I just keep replying:

Eh.

Ugh.

Umm.

Eek.

Anything that is just 23% shy of actually being a word.

This makes it worse because I just provoked them to send me the other predictable “What’s wrong?” text.

Which might be fine. Except for it’s not.

I don’t know what’s wrong.

So I throw a not-so-curved curve ball and reply, “Nothing is wrong.”

That’s right.

Nothing is wrong.

Nothing keeps me up at night. Nothing makes me eat two bags of popcorn. Nothing makes me regret throwing away Taylor Swift’s last album. Nothing makes me tear up when I’m drunk. Nothing IS wrong!

FYI: This weekend I’m throwing a pity party. Everyone’s invited! BYOB! And maybe bring some 2nd B in that acronym for me too because, in case you haven’t noticed, NOTHING IS WRONG!

Ugh.

Nothing has gotten so wrong that I might start using hash tags in my blog posts again (See Post: A Crowbar Huh?).

Eek.

It’s been so long that I have a million things to tell you and not sure where to start.

I used to lay it down in chronological order, but my aforementioned, never- fucking- ending candle, has me all confused about where things begin, where things end and what the fuck is even happening.

Umm.

But at least it’s coffee scented?

I’m going to go wash this wax out of my hair and then come back at you with a post about my spring break trip!

Eh?

Sneak Peek: It involves drunk dialing, guitar playing and hunger striking, which for those of you who don’t know, has virtually nothing to do with eating.